(Re)learning to trust

Praise be to the Lord,

    for he has heard my cry for mercy.

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The Lord is my strength and my shield;

    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

    and with my song I praise him. 

           Psalm 28:6-7

God continues to show Himself throughout our family's journey.  Recently, He has been revealing Himself to me as trustworthy.  Yes, I know He is trustworthy.  A hymn from my childhood echoes..."Only trust Him, Only trust Him, Only trust Him now."

I like to think I trust Him, but really, I fail in this area many times every day. Every time I try to find solutions to my problems, take matters into my own hands, become anxious about my situation, I am demonstrating a lack of trust.  God has been relentless in showing me my sinfulness as I refuse to trust.

Thinking about God objectively, it seems ridiculous not to trust Him.  He is Sovereign!  He is LORD Most High!!

And yet, like Paul, what I want to do (trust God), I do not do.(Romans 7:18)

I am learning that trusting God is not a once a day event.  It is a minute by minute, breathing in, breathing out decision.

Some minutes I trust God, but many other minutes I do not.  And really, I am learning that I cannot trust without the power of the Holy Spirit at work in my life.

And yet, God is so merciful.  He continues to lead and guide me.  He continues to reveal Himself to me.

We recently came through a tough 24 hours with our daughter.  She was withdrawn, non-communicative.  And I felt totally helpless.  Finally, I realized that was exactly where I needed to be.  Helpless.  Acknowledging that I had NO IDEA how to get through this situation.  I had nothing to bring to the table.  Helpless, yes, but not hopeless.  I chose to put my hope, my trust in God.  The One who could whisper to Davina's heart.  The One who could meet her needs even when I could not.

When we came through that situation, I understood what the psalmist meant!  God helped me and I, too, was leaping for joy!!