Adoption: journey and blessings

There is no doubt about it, adoption is a journey.  Adoption is a blessing.

In the adoption world, we also talk about adoption being hard.  And it is.  But to define "hard" is difficult.

Hard is...

• Your child having a major temper tantrum and not being able to connect with her.
• Your child shutting down emotionally and not being able to figure out what has triggered it.
• Trying to decipher if an undesirable behavior or reaction is related to adoption or just a normal kid thing.

But hard is also...

• Listening to your child tell stories about her past.
• Reading your child's file and crying as you read what she has endured.
• Watching your child be fearful about upcoming changes (any change...change is difficult)
• Knowing that your child will continue to struggle with attachment, identity, and self worth.

Yesterday an adoptive mom shared that she was shopping with her two kids.  Her adopted teenaged son, who has been home over 10 years, waited outside one of the stores.  When my friend left the store, she thought her son saw her and followed.  But he didn't.  And when he realized that she was gone, he panicked.  He told her that she thought she left him.  Abandoned him.

The fear of abandonment lurks under the surface for our kids.  And that is hard.

But the blessings of adoption ease the pain of the hard parts.  Adoption is also an overwhelming blessing.  It is an opportunity to see God's redemptive work in a beautiful and unique way.

When Yuly had been home about a year, she asked me, "If you hadn't adopted me, how would I have heard about God's love for me?  In Colombia I only heard about God's punishments, not His love for me."

To be able to share God's love and the hope we have in Christ with my daughter, that is a blessing.

And from this weekend, as Todd was fixing breakfast for Yuly, she was sharing with him about her Bible reading for the day.  She is reading about the children of Israel and the tabernacle and was asking about the difference between the tabernacle and the temple.  This lead to a discussion of the Holy of Holies.  Todd reminded her about the thick curtain the surrounded the Holy of Holies.  Yuly interrupted and said, "that's the same curtain that was torn when Jesus died on the cross!"

Yes, my sweet girl has been adopted twice.  And to listen to her and her daddy have spiritual discussions over breakfast, to know that she is beginning to understand the love that God has for her, THAT is one of the best blessings of adoption.

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  Romans 8:15