A Sneak Peek

During the first months of our adoption process, Todd and I couldn't believe how quickly and easily things came together.  We contrasted this experience with our first experience.  We concluded that perhaps God allowed us to have an easier time initially to help us know that this was the right decision.  With Yuly, we knew from the beginning that we were headed on the path God had planned.  And we had LOTS of delays. This time we were much more tentative about whether or not this was the right plan for us at this time.  And we have had a smooth path.  Until now.  Finalizing our home study has been agonizingly slow.  In the scheme of time, it isn't that slow, but now that we have found our daughter, every day seems to matter.  And here she is...

We don't want there to be any delays.  And yet, we have had several weeks of waiting.  Ick.

Our local social worker has been such an encouragement.  Such a blessing.  When I shared my discouragement with her she said, " I keep before me the image of you all finally meeting her in China, and me greeting you upon your return!"

So, we wait and pray.  We dream and plan.  We talk about her daily.  And we hope.

How do you define "normal"?

Before I work on defining "normal" I would like to share some more exciting news!  We've already heard back from China and we have been approved to adopt our daughter!  In our petition, we stated,  " We eagerly await your permission to add GY, whom we already love, to our family."  And it is true, we already love her and can't wait to bring her home!

And now to the point of this entry...

As we travel this 2nd adoption journey, we are so blessed that we have family and friends that are incredibly supportive of us.  We really have no horror stories of inappropriate questions (nosy questions, maybe, but not inappropriate) or discouraging words.  We acknowledge that some people probably shake their heads and think we are crazy, but fortunately, they are least outwardly supportive.

However, this is not the case for all adoptive families, and my heart today is sad as I think about a friend of mine who, as her family prepares to adopt, has been chastised for not allowing her biological son to have a "normal life."

This comment makes me sad for two reasons.  My friend was hurt by this response and lack of support and I hurt with her.  It also makes me sad for the person who said it because I'm not sure she understood what she said.

What is normal?

In the US, normal is...

• In 2008, 40% of children were born to single women and 29% of all children were being raised in single parent homes.
• In the past 30 days, 27% of youth 12-20 have had an alcoholic drink
• The average American family is $73,000 in debt. 

I don't know about you, but I don't want any of that "normal" in my family.  What do I want?

I want my children to evaluate "normal" according to God's word.  Verses like:

•  No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good,
      and this is what he requires of you:
  to do what is right, to love mercy,
      and to walk humbly with your God.  Micah 6:8
• Defend the weak and the fatherless;
      uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.  Psalm 82:3
• Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.  Romans 12:13

Don't get me wrong...our family falls short of  God's "normal" but if we are going to strive for "normal" we choose God's normal and not the world's.

I want my kids to think about "normal" in other parts of the world.

• more the 6 million children die from malnutrition every year.
• approximately two-fifths of the world's population do not have access to clean water...of these, 425 million of them are children.  500 children die every day due to health problems caused by contaminated water.
• nearly 115 million children are out of school. Globally, some 53 percent of the children out of primary school are girls, meaning that for every 100 boys out of school, 115 girls are in the same situation 
• there are an estimated 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide.

And I want them to be people of prayer and action, helping to change that "normal" in the world.

Some fun news :)

Our adoption agency sent in our Letter of Intent today!  If you are familiar with adoption from China you know what that means:  we have formally requested to adopt a specific child.  We are so excited!!

As I have shared, this journey has been very different than our first.  To this point I have been rather matter-of-fact about this process (unlike the first time--I was nervous and excited and impatient).  Not unhappy or reluctant, but just methodical in working through the process.  But that has changed!  God has moved our hearts and shown us our new daughter and we are thrilled.

Another difference with this adoption is that we were exposed to a lot of children needing homes.  With Yuly, we received her as a referral and then affirmed that choice after prayer.  This time I spent time looking at children...it is overwhelming to see the need.  We prayed for wisdom and discernment.  When we first saw this photo, we both agreed that we should request additional information on the child.  We prayed for a few weeks, including times of fasting to determine God's will in this, and we sense that He has overwhelmingly affirmed our choice.

Unfortunately, I cannot yet share any specific information yet, but please rejoice with us and pray that the process continues to move smoothly (and quickly!).  This is another big difference with our first adoption--this time we know about our child long before we can actually meet her.

The question that most people want to know is what now? or how long?  Well...our home study is almost, but not quite, done.  When it is completed, we send a copy off to USCIS to get approval to bring an adopted child into the country.  USCIS will send us an appointment for being fingerprinted and we will get to take a 3 hour road trip to be fingerprinted in Jacksonville, FL.  Then, we will eventually get approval and it will be time to send our dossier to China.  This phase will take about three months.  Then we wait for China's approval and for them to send us a travel date...this phase will take about six months.  So, we are looking at about nine months.  It will be a long wait, although we will be able to send her packages and begin to communicate with her.

So...that's where we are.  Things are moving along and I can't wait to share more!

Comforter vs. Comfortable

     In the past year, I have been pondering the idea of comfort.  As Americans, we crave comfort.  And as Western Christians, we are no different.  We want to be comfortable.  We gauge decisions by how "comfortable" they make us.  We buy things because they are comfortable.

      Recently, I came to realize that comfort has become my idol.  Not this kind, of course...

but nonetheless, an idol is anything that you seek after, search for, desire, more than God.  And comfort is like that.  Comfort often becomes the object of my desire.

     I also have been reflecting on God's promise for His Comfort.  In fact, Jesus said that He had to go to heaven so that the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, could come.  And this was for our benefit (John 16:7).

    God wants us to seek our comfort in Him and Him alone.  Not in our comfy clothes, our padded bank accounts, or our safe lifestyle.  

    God is not calling me to a life of comfort, but to engage in the world, sometimes in uncomfortable ways--like in adopting a teenager.

    God wants me to be comforted, but not necessarily comfortable.  I just need to remember to seek Him for comfort.  Not my circumstances.  He is my Comforter.